Hootie (heidi)

She was a small female, loving, and somewhat shy...tough as nails, non-demanding, sometimes annoying with her vocalness....cat-like in her affection, the sweetest, most doting mother and our friend. When I was in the U.P. Ted brought her in to the house and she enjoyed her new status. Well mannered, lacking any aggressiveness to man or beast, she mothered all things, even us.
I'd noticed that she'd been losing weight...she seemed to be eating, though not as aggressively as usual. Ted noticed it too when she was inside those couple days. So off to the vet!
He listened to her lungs, frowned and asked me if she'd been coughing a lot. I hadn't noticed any coughing except when she drank water a couple of times. After blood work, X rays and other tests, we found out that our little girl had a "massive tumor" in her lung. Dr. Lepley called me in, showed me the radiograph, explained the prognosis, and said he couldn't believe that she didn't present with other symptoms. But, that is her "MO"...she never complained.
The tumor started at the base of her heart, probably 6-9 months ago...it rendered a lung virtually useless, her heart was sagging onto her sternum, and her esophagus was displaced and probably made it very difficult eat at all. The decision was made to give her the relief she deserved, and so it was done. Ted made it there so he could say goodbye, and be with her too.
We buried her near her friends that have also passed on...and in spite of the heavy hearts we bear today, we are grateful for the time we got to spend with our little silver dog....grand-daughter of the great Beowulf.
It never really surprises me what we learn from each of these dogs that we share our lives with.
For each life that we are responsible for, we have been taught what grace, dignity and loyalty really mean....that living in the moment is the best way to live....loving is constant and without conditions...forgiveness is peace. How can you not miss them, when they are suddenly gone? SO much is taken, but MORE was given.
The young receptionist at the Vet's office asked me how I could stand it...she found it unbearable and couldn't imagine having so many dogs to care for and know that life will end for all of them sooner or later. I told her that I don't think about the "end"...and try to enjoy and APPRECIATE every minute I get with them...you love them, care for them and try to give them the best quality of life you are capable of...that is really all you can do. With life, eventually there will be death...you can let it drag you down now, or push it to the very end, where it belongs. It is never "easy" and I hope it NEVER gets easy to lose a loved one.
So thank you Heidi for the years we had, and while I'm not so sure there IS a heaven for us humans, I'm certain that there has to be one for dogs, as they are much closer to perfect than we will ever be.